Meddlesome Catholic Church can’t do statistics.

I can’t figure out if this piece of “research” is for real or not. It could be bad journalism, but is most likely a combination of bad journalism and bad application of statistics for a thinly veiled jab by the church at all young women who aren’t married and with 3 kids in tow.

Reported in the font of all reputable knowledge (not!), the Melbourne-based News Ltd paper Herald-Sun, is a story that the Catholic church has decreed a ‘man-drought’ in Australia, with a huge decline in available men aged 25-34 years old.

The church tells the newspaper that there are only 86,000 eligible men between 25 and 34 for over 1.3 million women of the same age bracket. This seems like a massive mismatch of gender. I went outside over the weekend and was not overrun by hordes of desperate females – it all seemed that pretty even numbers of both men and women were walking around the place.

Apparently this magic number of 86,000 was achieved by taking the total men (1.343 million) and subtracting the following groups: 485,000 married, 185,000 de facto, 7000 gay, 12,000 single parents and 568,000 men earning less than $60K per year.

I was staggered that no-one seemed to notice that they’d based their analysis on a fundamental flaw: they seem to think that every single woman aged 25-34 is single. There was no equivalent extrapolation of how many of the 1.3 million girls would be similarly categorised as ‘inappropriate’/’ineligible’. This obviously means that none of the women of the equivalent age would be either married, de facto, gay, parents or poor?? That all of these 1.3 million young ladies are wringing their hands because all they see around them are smug marrieds, filthy de factos, children out of wedlock and poverty-ridden hipsters (why else could they not afford belts for their trousers??)? This begs several questions:

  • Who are all these ineligible men married or de facto’ed to? Cougars, obviously because there are 1.3 million 25-34 year old women out there looking for men, or so we’re led to believe.
  • Who decided that having a child would make a person ‘ineligible’ as a male?
  • What on earth does money have to do with anything? And why the arbitrary figure of $60K?
  • How does this crap get in a newspaper anyway? Wait, it’s the Herald-Sun. I’ve just answered my own question.

And to top it off, we also have the endorsement of this ridiculousness by a federal Liberal MP.

Somebody open a window – let some of the stupid out.

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